Social Distance

“Good morning, Jen. I have a question. Will I get coronavirus and get really sick?”

Please don’t let it be one of “those days” I prayed before reassuring my concerned resident and sending him off to a morning writing group. I had just walked in, the to-do list in my head a mile long, and I was desperate for a solid, productive day.

Once behind my desk, Outlook loaded and the seemingly endless flow of new emails scrolled onto the screen. Among them was a note from one of my board members. She was going to treat me to lunch from a local deli but due to distancing restrictions, she would drop it at the door for me, and then we could chat on the phone for our lunch meeting once she got home.

Now in a pre-COVID19 world, having lunch from Katz Deli would be a great treat but living in COVID-ville made the prospect of delicious food downright exciting. Writing back, I told her that I would love (yes, love) a chicken salad sandwich with tomato and cheese. (They literally have the best chicken salad).

“Done!” she replied. She was going to have their famous corned beef sandwich and we were both happy to have figured out our socially distant lunch meeting.

Ordering and planning complete, I went to the Joann Fabrics website. We needed 8 yards of fabric to make 60 masks for residents and staff and one of my family members agreed to make them for me. All I needed to do was order the materials and ship them to her. Piece of cake! I scrolled through the proper fabric section, made four selections so people would have a choice, (look, I’m making them wear masks non-stop so they better be nice or compliance will tank) ordered and got confirmation that everything was in process. Another task off the list.

And then the next email came. “Oops! We don’t have everything in your order, but don’t worry you have not been billed.” Great. I sighed and went back to the site, picked the two replacement choices and put the order in. All good.

And then the next email came. Same thing. Back to the site. Two more fabrics. Order in process.

And then the next email came.

For. The. Love.

Okay, after a few texts to my sewing guru we decided to have store pick up instead of delivery, hoping that the next order would stick. And it did.

Only now it wouldn’t take my payment method.

Maybe four orders will send the fraud flag flying…who knows?

Finally. Finally, I was able to get a payment processed and the order confirmed for pick up. On with the morning. . . well, what was left of it.

My Lunch Meeting

In no time at all, lunch showed up! Yippee! The reward for the Joann Fabric nightmare had arrived. I closed my doors, sat at my desk, and opened the bag. It was quiet and it was time to eat and reset.

She gave me the wrong sandwich.

Naturally. Because this is a Monday-not-on-a-Monday and that’s how we roll, gang. That’s how we roll.

While we texted back and forth about having her drive back so we could swap, I put the sandwich and chips it came with into the fridge and went back to work. Maybe she got me chips too, I wondered. I hadn’t asked because frankly, I hadn’t given chips a thought but now that I saw them, they looked good. Really good. I can’t remember the last time I had sea salt kettle chips.

 

So I sat, worked, and waited with thoughts of chips passing through every few minutes.

A little while later the correct sandwich arrived. A staff member had picked it up at the door and brought it to me while I was walking down to the fridge to get the corned beef for its rightful eater. Then, back to the door I went and handed off the bag and said thank you with the promise of a chat later.

Now I can eat.

Except I gave her the. wrong. bag.

(tell me you didn’t see that one coming)

I literally snorted in laughter at my desk, and then I ate the chips.

Tomorrow, I texted her, I will pick up lunch and deliver it. Let’s see how we do.