I need to BE
“Matt, I’m a one. Of course, I have no chill.” This time he laughed. We routinely poke at the Enneagram and how our numbers so perfectly fit us. Ones tend to be more serious; social justice warriors focused on living a service-focused life, based in integrity. Chill is not our baseline.
Recently I was chatting with a woman I work with. We are on the run these days with projects, system upgrades, and managing life in a pandemic. At one point, when I was taking a breath after explaining the next steps in our transformative work, she asked, “Jen, what do you do just for you?”
My reply, “I write my blog and I read a lot.”
“Uh huh. And what are you reading right now,” she continued.
“White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo.”
Is there time to BE
Okay, so I need more chill. More chill, more chill….how do I figure out how to get more chill?
I’ll take a class!
How very one of me…
(I’ll wait here while those of you who know me well get a good laugh at this one. Take your time. No rush…)
Alright, so back to the class. This week I started a class with Troy Cady through an amazing community I belong to called the Black Barn Collective (or Black Barn Online). It is a free, open community “where faith and art cultivated in community, take root, flourish and grow.” (Check it out – you’ll love it!) Anyway, the class is part of the soul & spirit curriculum and is called “Play In Creation: Knowing God and Receiving God’s Work Like A Child.” I chose it because I want to learn how to play. Well, first I want to know the definition of play, how it is used in this context, examples of play… Sorry, I can’t deny being a one, I can only strive to grow in new areas.
One prayer I have for this eight-week course is to come away with a better sense of how to “be” so I can step away from always “doing.” Doing is my default. It’s my autopilot. Something needs to be done, I do it. It’s that simple.
Can I just BE?
So now I am in this class on how to play and try something a little lighter. And while I’m excited about letting go and just “being” I have also felt torn. COVID19 is still very much a thing. Racial injustice has not been eradicated just because the protests have tapered off. Running my organization is no simpler than it was before I signed up to play for eight weeks.
What on earth gives me permission to play when I should be zeroed in on helping, serving, fighting the good fight?
Nothing. Nothing on earth gives me permission. God does. God gives us all permission to play, as His beloved children. In fact, I’m starting to think that maybe play is restorative and will aid me in my “doing” time because I will have had more “being” time.
So with that permission granted by Our Father, God, I am going to learn how to be… so I can be a better doer… but not do too much, so I can be…in order to find chill.
What do you do to simply “be” in your busy, stressful life? Share below so I can cheer you on and get some tips too!